Archive for May, 2005
I keep getting weird pains on my side, it happened tonight on several occasions. Its just a sharp pain where my hip bone thing is. My mouse is making me insane, I click with it and it double clicks, I think I need a new mouse! I don’t know what else to write and I’m tired. Later.
I don’t ever know when or what to write here, ever. But whatever. Last night I had another odd dream. I was outrunning the police, then somehow ended up on a small boat bound for somewhere, turned the boat around and landed in some European country, I think Lithuania or Luxemburg, but it could have been Austria, since it seemed a bit Austrian. So I decided to settle down there, found a person willing to rent me a room. But since none of my dreams are continuous, a year passed since I left, and a few people came to visit me, which was an odd feeling. A year had passed and nobody ever thought of me until that year had passed, and I tried to rekindle friendships and the like with people but it was so difficult. But as I’ve said, “I never fit in anywhere” which is true, everywhere I go I don’t seem to fit in, and it gets me nervous. I’m such a nervous person, I need to relax. So It goes. Well the dream I had the night before last was even more strange, I owned a house and Carmen was over with her father. Carmen was missing a hand and had a hook and her dad kept yelling at her to do things… Such a weird dream, on top of that, I kept waking up every hour or so and would be standing in my room and after a few minutes realize that I’m standing in my room and I’d go back to sleep only to do the same thing again. Too much on my mind I suppose. Cake is on, the trumpet solo is great on the album. Anyways, I’m updating my myspace music to The White Stripes – I’m Bound to Pack it Up, since it seemed to fit, plus its a great song.
=\
Its weird how I can read something written by someone else and instantly my mind begind to think a bit like them. I won’t tell you what I read, but who knows, I should probably be like this more often. I need to lighten up, Carmen spent most of Sunday plucking out my gray hairs, me nervous? I suppose I have been. I need to lighten up, I seriously do.
Computer stuff (Don’t read unless you want to): My lan was somewhat succesful, except I had plugged into 10mbit mode and not my 100mbit card, which is weird, I should have two 100mbit cards.. So most of the time was spent trying to copy Quake3 to the 4 other people who joined Hessman and I in a game. Troubleshooted a bit, Quake3 would crash but all that was needed was a q3config.cfg delete. Carmack must have programmed in some odd opengl calls for ATI and NVIDIA specific things. So moving from ATI->Nvidia for some people led to a crash. I guess that goes with the different types of graphics cards nowadays. Besides that, played some Starcraft, wandered around, not much gaming again, which sucks. Carmen and her bro Othello (methinks) was there playing some Gamecube, which was interesting and worked to lighten up downtime. A lot of people smoked some weed and ended up watching a children’s show on KCET, which was a potheads dream I suppose. I don’t know why people smoke that crap… Anyways, thats about it for the lan things, just about done cleaning up, vacuumed and the like.
Back to normal things (you can read): First day of Voice and Diction after getting about 5 hours of sleep was fun! Woke up, played games, cleaned, showered, then got some coffee and some treats. I’ll post a soundclip of some weird exercise thing in a bit, after I shower, shave, and record it. Anyways, besides getting nervous and acting like a fool when giving a mini-biography, now I know what I wanted to say! Too late as usual, always forget what to say and then remember after the fact. Yes yes, thats me. After class, got some Pizza at Toppers with Carmen, showed her some crazy Irish accents from Snatch. I also scratched her leg. I suppose thats it for now, besides that I need to lighten up a bit.. She wants me to get A pair of these (although, its only one). I think they’re funny looking, I’d rather get some t-shirts and some black pants.
I also washed my car. I have some things I need to write on later. only 15 more classes to go!
The new Stripes album is rather interesting, it is a lot different sound than any of their previous ones. More lyrical I suppose, less rocking guitar work, but still a bit to keep it interesting. Meg once again sings on another track, which is good to hear, in the cold cold night was a good one on Elephant. A lot of piano work in this one, I guess Jack managed to pick up the piano enough to play it on a few tracks, It’d be interesting to know how they plan on doing this record live. What else was I to mention… Once again its rather short (not a full 70 minute CD).
My mind broke, so I shall sleep. Night.
Oh yes, lan party/party sunday night, let me know if you’re interested.
I don’t know what to tell you. A lot of shits been going down as of late and I’m kinda fed up with certain things. I’m so lost I have no idea what to do half of the time, I’ve got college coming up, which freaks the hell out of me, am I in the right thing? Who the fuck knows, am I going to the right school? Can I actually afford to go to school? What then? What now? At least I’ve let this shit not affect my life up through finals, but now that they’re over I guess I’m free to worry about these sorts of things. I have some grey (or gray? I can never remember) hairs on my head, I don’t know if its from hair through mole or just my general insanity causing stress and the like. So it goes I suppose, at least Carmen pulled a few out, but I don’t know, the rest might want to join. Its good having friends around, takes my mind off the troublesome things and makes life a bit easier. That song, Down by SocialBurn came on, Its amazing how much music can relate to daily life, a song is universal, it can apply to people across space and time, thats the beauty of music. I played a bit on Carmen’s piano, a fun little device, not sure what I was doing, but I felt something, I don’t know what, a longing to express myself perhaps. I’ve been trying to write more but I don’t know where to write without acting like a complete idiot. I hate how every cute girl that pays the least bit of attention to me I instantly fall in love, Hell I’ve even been sitting in class, looking at the girls and thinking, “What If?” What if? I don’t know, I’ve always wanted a family, wife, kids, the whole bunch, but it scares me, I really don’t know how to attain them. Be myself? How, I don’t even know who I am anymore, so much has changed, so confusing. Type type type goes my keyboard, blink blink blink goes the window drawing my attention to it, with a simple phrase “gay” in response to the lack of 3wave players playing right now from Hessman. It blinks away, not a care in the world, I wonder how much advanced CPU power in Computer Engineering has led to the creation of the Windows OS, and a little blinking window, too much I suppose. People piss me off sometimes, everyone acts tough, but they’re not, everyone has fears, feelings, its insane, I can’t even grasp that, I used to, but my mind could ponder it for the rest of my life, and I need it to make me breath. Type Type Type goes my keyboard, my mind is racing in a million different places all the time, where oh where will it lead me next, if it is in fact sure of where its leading me. I think next weekend I will drive out somewhere and clear my head, Grand Canyon sounds nice, I hope my car gets fixed. I don’t know why I’d want to drive out there, but I do. I wonder where my film camera is, I have lots of black and white film that I need to use. I miss photography, I’d love to do it again. Radio show, I’d love to do that too, but the damn RIAA wants me to pay to play music so other people can hear what goes on through my head and I don’t know, it makes me upset. So much potential in everything, in people, in the things we use (computers) and the areas we live. Its sad that so much goes to shit, people don’t learn much anymore about Science and Math, we’re just sort of doddling around on this Earth until we die, I hate that, humanity needs to get off its fucking couch and LEARN and progress and EVOLVE, but there is so much shit in the way preventing that. Lawsuits, money, all that jazz, all anyone wants is satellite/cable tv and beer, not a good book and something to work on. Ramble Ramble Ramble, Type type type, So it goes, So it goes. I love that phrase ‘So it Goes’, I need to use it more often, but it never happens. I need to compliment Carmen on her smile, I love it when she smiles. Its late and I should be going to sleep, I think I’ll draw a picture and post it. My mind is such a convuluted place, but full of such wonders, if only someone would ask me something difficult, I’d love to discuss it with them. Ask me how a computer works, I dare you, that is if you care how it works, otherwise don’t bother asking. Type type type, the whirr of the fans in my computer is driving me insane, I shall be insane in my sleep, night.
Lan Party SUNDAY MAY 22, 2005. Bring your computer + stuff to play games or just drop by to hang out.
I’m rather bored, I purchased Guild Wars, a MMORPG because I felt like trying a new game, so far its pretty interesting, I haven’t officially left the newbie level, trying to do as many quests as I can to build experience. I am at level 7. Anyways, that crap is boring so I will stop. I got an LCD to use as a TV, and it works, pretty well actually, I would post pics of my new TV setup but Brent still has my camera, so none of that. Right now I’m listening to some Clapton, I came across one of his live CDs in my collection and played “Walkin’ Life Blues” and it sounded quite like Son House’s “Death Letter”, so I played that, which is now the music on My MySpace music, if it doesn’t play you need to clear your browser’s cache, or just wait a while. In any event I then played The White Stripes’ version of the same song, death letter, from their live in blackpool DVD/CD. Right now, I’m loving the blues, and the guitar work by all of these artists is simply breathtaking, it makes me want to play more of my guitar. Anyways, not much going on, just listening to music and waiting around for someone to call me back.
Did you know that on the Beatles, Why My Guitar Gently Weeps, the guitarist was Eric Clapton?
